Four Q’s Every Husband Should Ask His Wife

The Bible has much to say, both explicitly and implicitly, about husbands loving their wives.

Husbands are told to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church” (Eph. 5:25), “live with your wives in an understanding way” (1 Pet. 3:7), “enjoy life with the wife you love” (Eccles. 9:9), and etc. But perhaps the most startling verse in all of the Bible in regards to the spousal love of a husband is 1 Timothy 3:4-5, “He (the overseer) must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his household, how will he care for God’s church?” Simply put, Paul tells Timothy that if a husband is not shepherding his wife, he cannot shepherd God’s people.

No ministry is more important than your wife.

So, here’s the question: how do husbands shepherd their wives?

For starters, a husband should know the state of his wife’s soul and how he can better serve her. To do this, every husband should ask his wife four questions on a regular basis:

1. How are you encouraged in your faith and life right now?

In what ways are you seeing the grace of God at work in your life? How are you seeing God at work in the lives of those around you? What events or circumstances have brought joy to your heart recently?

2. How are you discouraged in your faith and life right now?

What sins are you struggling to overcome? In what ways are you battling unbelief? What recent situations or circumstances have siphoned joy from your life (at work, home, church, etc.)?

3. How can I pray for you?

What are some specific passages of Scripture I can pray for you? Is there something specific you want me to ask the Lord to do on your behalf? 

4. How can I grow as a Husband, Father, and Christian?

In what ways can I be more nurturing, caring, and compassionate? Is there anything I’ve done recently that has concerned or hurt you? If I were to focus on one area of my life to change in the next thirty days, what would it be?

Husbands, no ministry is more important than your wife. You are called to shepherd your Bride — anticipating the day when the Great Shepherd will finish His good work in her (Phil. 1:6). Until then, spend your life loving, serving, and nurturing your wife to the glory and praise of God.

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