Most of us don’t like feeling desperate.
We prefer feeling competent, strong, capable, and in control. But if we’re honest, the moments when we are most aware of God’s presence — the moments we actually cry out for His help — rarely come when life is smooth. They come when life feels completely out of our control.
The problem is, we usually live reactively desperate lives. We cruise along, managing things in our own strength, until something happens — a diagnosis, a job loss, a broken relationship, a silent unraveling — and we finally realize we can’t manage anymore. Only then do we admit our helplessness and reach for God.
But what if desperation didn’t have to sneak up on us? What if proactive desperation — choosing daily to live in dependence on God — is actually the healthiest and most faithful way to live?
Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” He didn’t say blessed are the self-reliant or the strong. He blessed those who know they have nothing apart from Him. Choosing to live proactively desperate isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s acknowledging that no matter how capable we feel, we are creatures who depend on the Creator for every breath.
C.S. Lewis once said that God wants us to have a grown-up’s head but a child’s heart. A child knows they need help. A child reaches for a hand when they’re scared. Adults forget that. Until life reminds them. But why wait for life to humble us?
Why not choose desperation now?
Desperation tends to rise to the surface when we find ourselves limited, uncertain, overwhelmed, struggling, or truly desperate. When we hit the end of our emotional, physical, or spiritual strength and realize we don’t have the resources to fix it. When we’re standing at a crossroads with more questions than answers. When we’re trying to keep life afloat and it feels like the waves are crashing faster than we can swim. When we’re stuck in cycles of sadness, sin, or spiritual dryness and can’t seem to claw our way out. When life breaks open in a way that no plan, no backup strategy, no sheer willpower can fix.
Chances are, you can find yourself in one or more of those places right now. I know I can. But the invitation isn’t to white-knuckle your way through it or pretend it’s not happening. The invitation is to cry out for help.
Choosing desperation — before we’re forced into it — is one of the most powerful spiritual decisions we can make. It moves us from relying on our own strength to resting in God’s. It reminds us that prayer isn’t a power move; it’s a surrender move.
C.S. Lewis captured this beautifully in The Screwtape Letters, where he imagines a senior demon warning a junior demon about humans and prayer. He writes that the best way to keep people away from God is to convince them they can manage on their own — that prayer should be a last resort, not a first response. But he also warns that if a human willingly chooses desperation, if they admit their helplessness and cry out to God, everything changes. The demons lose ground.
When we choose to live desperately dependent on God — not just when the bottom drops out, but every single day — we live in the reality that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to the poor in spirit. We stop pretending we have it all together. We stop confusing control with faith. We stop striving and start surrendering.
Maybe today is a good day to start. Maybe today you stop waiting for a crisis to make you desperate. Maybe today you recognize that even on your best day, you need God just as much as on your worst.
Think about your life right now. Where do you feel helpless? Maybe it’s a relationship that feels broken beyond repair. Maybe it’s a financial need you can’t meet. Maybe it’s a lingering sadness you can’t shake. Maybe it’s a diagnosis you never wanted to hear. Whatever it is, bring it to Jesus. Write it down if you need to. Say it out loud. Cry out to Him.
“God, I need your help. I can’t do this without you.”
And then rest. Rest in the truth that you’re knocking on the door of a good Father who promises to open it. It may not look the way you expect. He may not fix everything overnight. But He will listen. He will answer. He will give you Himself.
“I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
You don’t have to wait for desperation to find you. You can choose it. You can live it. And in doing so, you will find the kind of strength, hope, and peace that only come to those who know they can’t help themselves — and finally stop trying.