You’ve done it. I’ve done it. We all have.
Someone says something off, misses a detail, or rubs you the wrong way, and before you even realize it, you’ve made up a whole story about who they are. Maybe you call it being “observant” or “just honest.” But if you’re anything like me, sometimes that quick assessment isn’t discernment—it’s judgment.
As Jesus begins to close the greatest sermon ever preached, He brings up a topic that every one of us wrestles with but rarely admits: judging others. In Matthew 7:1–6, He gets right to the heart of why we do it, how it harms us, and what to do instead.
Here are six insights from Jesus’ teaching that might just change the way you see people… and yourself.
1. Jesus condemns judging others unfairly.
Jesus begins by saying, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”
What does this mean? In the ancient world, judging someone could mean one of two things. The first was about evaluating something—like when you try a new restaurant, look over the menu, and decide what seems best. That’s good discernment.
But the second meaning was very different. It meant to condemn—to pass final verdict on someone’s value or worth with no chance of changing your mind. That’s the kind of judgment Jesus condemns because it’s destructive to relationships.
Now here’s the real question: how do you know when you’re evaluating versus condemning? Because if we’re honest, most of us “size people up” and call it discernment when it’s really judgment in disguise. So how can you tell if that’s true of you? Here are four signs.
I know I have a problem judging people unfairly when…
1. I keep a mental record of people’s shortcomings.
You remember what people did wrong—and start seeing them through it. Their shortcoming becomes their identity in your mind. The coworker who missed a deadline once? Unreliable. Your spouse who forgot something? Careless. Your parents who let you down? Untrustworthy. When we judge unfairly, we stop seeing people as they are and start seeing them only by what they’ve done.
2. I expect grace for my bad day but don’t give it to others on theirs.
When you’re short with someone, you want people to understand: “I’m tired, I’m stressed, I’ve got a lot going on.” But when someone else snaps, you assume it’s who they are. “She’s rude.” “He’s lazy.” We judge others by their actions but want to be judged by our intentions.
3. I seldom get curious about why people did what they did.
Instead of asking, “I wonder why they acted that way,” we assume the worst. Judgment jumps to conclusions, but curiosity leans in and listens. Unfair judgment fills in the blanks with suspicion instead of compassion.
4. I treat my convictions and preferences like God’s commands.
Maybe you have strong opinions about parenting, money, or church—and assume everyone else should agree. When they don’t, you get irritated. That’s because you’ve confused “my way” with “God’s way.” You’ve become the standard.
This is the kind of judging Jesus condemns: when we’re quick to pull the trigger on conclusions without grace or mercy. But that doesn’t mean Jesus tells us never to evaluate anyone. In fact, the next insight shows us the balance.
2. Jesus encourages us to evaluate others rightly.
All throughout the Gospels, Jesus calls His followers to evaluate wisely. Later in Matthew 7, He tells us to discern between wolves and sheep—between who is trustworthy and who is not.
We live in a “don’t judge me” world, where questioning someone’s choices gets labeled intolerant or hateful. That’s because our culture has made personal freedom the highest virtue. As Elsa put it in Frozen,
“No right, no wrong, no rules for me—I’m free!”
But when everyone defines what’s right for themselves, truth becomes relative and love becomes silent approval. Jesus calls us to something better: to evaluate others with truth and grace. To give grace for people’s shortcomings while still naming what is good, right, and true.
3. The way you evaluate others will shape how you experience God and people.
Jesus says, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.”
People often end up treating you the way you treat them. When you sow grace, you usually reap grace. When you sow criticism, you usually reap criticism.
When you measure others harshly, that harshness circles back. A critical spirit creates distance—in marriages, friendships, and families. And eventually, it shapes how you see God.
If you spend your days finding fault in others, you’ll start imagining God relates to you the same way. He begins to feel more like a judge with a clipboard than a Father with open arms.
4. We often have 20/20 vision for others’ flaws and are blind to our own.
Jesus says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own?”
Imagine walking around with a 2×4 sticking out of your eye, pointing out someone else’s speck. That’s what it’s like when we hyper-fixate on other people’s quirks and sins without considering our own.
It’s what happens when you get frustrated with your teen for always being on their phone—while you’re glued to yours. Or when you call someone self-centered but steer every conversation back to yourself. We assume we see clearly, but often, we’re blind to our own pride, impatience, or insecurity.
5. Self-awareness is essential for healthy relationships.
Jesus continues, “First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
He isn’t saying you should never help someone deal with their sin or struggles—He’s saying you can’t do it clearly until you’ve dealt with your own.
That’s why John Calvin said true wisdom comes from knowing God and knowing yourself. Self-awareness allows you to see others accurately.
If you’ve ever tried to talk with someone who lacks self-awareness, you know how exhausting it is. But people who are self-aware listen, ask questions, and respond instead of react. They bring healing, not hurt, to their relationships.
6. Wisdom sets boundaries.
Jesus ends His teaching by saying, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs.”
It sounds harsh, but He’s being deeply practical. In the ancient world, dogs were scavengers and pigs were unclean animals—symbols of danger and stubbornness.
He’s saying, be careful who you give your heart to. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart.” Some people aren’t ready for your trust or your truth yet. You can’t force someone to receive what they’re not ready to hear.
Wisdom knows when to speak and when to step back—when to keep engaging and when to entrust someone to God. Love without boundaries usually leads to heartbreak.
So here’s the question: What’s the one thing Jesus wants you to see or do differently after hearing this?
Maybe it’s slowing down before making assumptions. Maybe it’s extending grace to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Or maybe it’s finally taking an honest look in the mirror and dealing with what’s in your own heart first.
Jesus’ words in Matthew 7 aren’t meant to shame us, they’re meant to set us free. Free from the pressure to play judge and jury. Free to see others with compassion. And free to live the kind of life that reflects the mercy we’ve been shown.
Because when we start seeing people the way Jesus sees us—with both truth and grace—everything begins to change.
This is the shorter version of a sermon I preached at Wabash Friends Church. You can watch or listen to the entire sermon here: